TMI?

I was planning to write another long post in which I would reveal some of my deepest thoughts and tell you all about some emotional moment from my past.

But then I decided to take a step back.

What exactly am I doing here? I've been revealing a lot about myself lately. I've posted emotional poetry, stories about my my wife and me, and I've been shamelessly plugging my YT videos about emotional/romantic moments in my life. I also seem to tell stories related to at least one of my failed attempts at romance in at least every other one of my posts. Most people are least a little bit circumspect about their IRL-life when they post stuff online, but I can't seem to reveal enough about myself - and I actually get kinda sad when I think nobody is listening.

Am I really that narcissistic about my life, or it there something else going on here?

Well, part of it has to do with the fact that basic details of my current IRL are not very interesting. As I wrote in one of my earliest posts, I kinda wished I could have written a blog about 20 years ago. There was so much more drama back then, and I enjoy writing about drama. So, in the absence of IRL drama, I guess I kinda find myself inventing drama by reflecting on events in my past. I mean - really - given a choice between reading about my high school crushes, or reading about my basement, which would you rather read?

However, I think the biggest reason why I blog/vlog the way I do has to do with a deep desire I have to be understood. Or perhaps it's a fear of being misunderstood. I've always felt a bit misunderstood, and I figure that the best way to avoid that is to give other people insight into my thought process. I want people to understand the events in my life that shaped me. I want people to really KNOW me, particularly people that I like. I certainly like a few people in my online world, and these blogs/vlogs are the best way to reach them all. Now of course, revealing all this stuff in a public forum means that plenty of people who I don't know could form opinions of me. Perhaps some of these opinions could be unflattering. However, I don't really care. I care very deeply about how I'm view by the people I like, but I could care less what the rest of the world think about me. If I can make a blog/vlog that helps a friend get to know me better, I could care less if that same blog/vlog makes 100 people go WTF.

So yeah - I guess what I'm saying is that my blogging style isn't really going to change anytime soon. I shall continue to reveal myself to you fine folks, and if you don't like that, well ...

... let's just say I beseech thee to kiss my posterior presently. :p

Rich