16 Random Facts

The facts below are in response to being tagged by Shweta in a facebook tag game. After spending all this time writing these facts, I decided to post this on both facebook and my blog.

1) I had really bad Asthma as a child - so bad that I was was once hospitalized for about 4 days. I was only 4 years old, so the only things I remember vividly are the following:

- Most on the time I was there, my hospital bed was surrounded by a big plastic bubble. I believe they were pumping high-oxygen-content air into the bubble to help me breathe better.

- When my Mom would visit me, she would bring me these huge slices of processed turkey to eat. I remember that the slices were round and they were about as big as my head.

- On the day I left the hospital, my parents almost lost me. While my parents were busy talking to the doctor, I heard the sound of Sesame Street in a nearby room. Somehow, I managed to wander into this room without my parents noticing that I had left. I watched about 15 minutes of Sesame Street before my panicked parents found me in the room.

2) Due to my bad Asthma, I forbidden from eating anything I was even slightly allergic to. Thus, between the ages of 4 and 14, I was not allowed to eat the following foods:

Beef
Pork
Chicken
Potatoes
Any product with wheat

Perhaps this would have been okay if I had grown up in an Asian family where rice and fish were common at mealtime, but my parents were real "meat and potatoes" people. They both hated the taste of fish, and rice was only an occasional side dish ( They bought rice in tiny little boxes rather than in huge bags ). My Dad would probably eat steak and potatoes every day if he could. My Mom tried her best to find food I could eat, but my meals didn't really have a lot of variety ( lots of turkey and fish sticks ).
It really sucked to have these allergies considering what typical American kids like to eat. If I ever found myself at a McDonald's ...
- I couldn't eat the burger
- I couldn't eat the fries
- I couldn't eat the bun.

I also couldn't eat at KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken), and pizza was supposed to be a no-no. However, I do remember my Mom would let me have pizza occasionally, because I guess my wheat allergy wasn't too severe.

Snack time was the worst. I remember sitting in kindergarten while the other little kids ate cookies and cakes, and I ate *nothing*. This is another example where being Asian would have helped a lot. My parents where not aware of all the yummy riced-based treats available at any Chinese bakery. My teacher eventually told my Mom that riced-based cookies were available, but my Mom wound up getting rice cookies from a health food store. The package simply said "Rice Cookies" in plain black lettering on white paper, and there were six cookies to a pack. The cookies were plain, round, and tasted like sweet cardboard. Still, they were better than nothing, and I enjoyed them.

Finally, when I was 14, I was re-tested for my food allergies and was told I could eat anything I wanted. This also meant the end to my weekly allergy shots. Between the ages of 4 and 14, I needed to get an allergy shot every Friday afternoon. It was really scary to get shots when I was 4 years old, but I actually got used to it after a month or so.


3) As a little kid, I was what people would call a "crybaby". Actually, I was that way until I was about 13 or so, so as you might imagine the teasing got really bad at times. I got frustrated very easily as a child and tears came real easy. The tears would lead to teasing which would lead to more tears. It was really a vicious cycle, especially because bully-types knew they could get me to cry easily. I remember that kids used to taunt me with a chant that went something like this ...

Baby, Baby!
Stick your head in gravy!
Wrap it up in bubble gum,
and send it to the Navy!

I know the chant above doesn't make much sense, but it still hurt a lot. In any case, lucky enough for me, I grew up to be bigger and more athletic than most of those bullies, so nobody really bothered me once I reached my teens. I don't think it was because anybody thought I was going to kick their ass if they teased me, but bullies tend to pick on easy targets, and I ceased to be an easy target when I became more than 6 feet tall.

My parents really didn't know how to deal with my crying, especially my Dad. He would make me feel guilty for being such a "sissy", which really only made things worse. It turns out that my son Michael has exactly the same personality as I did as child. I think I'm well prepared to deal with this. When he cries, I just tell him to try to think of happy thoughts, and I tell that I'm proud of him, and I that know he can be brave. I also give him lots of hugs. I re-assure my wife that Michael will be fine, and I make sure that I never do anything to make Michael feel guilty or more sad than he already is.

4) My Mom taught me how to tell time at the age of 4, and she almost immediately regretted it. A few weeks later, armed with this new knowledge, I noticed that the clock at the supermarket had a time of almost 4 o'clock. I knew that Batman ( the Adam West version ) came on at 4 PM each weekday ( "Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel" ). I also remember that when the previous day's show ended, Batman and Robin were about to be eaten by a giant clam. Of course, even at that age, I knew they would escape, but I wanted to know how - and the only way to find out was to be in front of the TV at 4 PM that day. So, I did what most 4-year olds would do in that situation, I started to whine that we needed to go home to watch Batman. When my Mom tried to respond to my whining with logic ( "They repeat these shows all the time. You can see that episode another day" ), the full scale tantrum began.

I want Batman!
I WANT BATMAN!!!
I WANT BAAAAAAATTTTT - MAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!

My poor Mom.

Eventually, my Mom couldn't take it anymore and simply walked away. She walked away, continued shopping with my baby brother, and left me crying in an aisle in the middle of the store ( It was a different world in 1974 - you could actually do that then. She was going to come back for me of course, but she wanted to make a point ). What she wasn't counting on was that less than one minute after she left me alone, my grandmother ( my Mom's mom ) walked into the aisle where I was crying ( Grandma had come separately - my Mom didn't know she was there ). Well, Grandma wasn't too happy to find her first grandchild left all alone crying in a supermarket. She gave my poor Mom hell for that, and I don't think she ever let my Mom forget it. In any case, I never did get to see Batman that day. I did eventually she that episode, but I think I was about 17 at the time.

5) 1984 is my favorite book of all time.

6) I think The Lord of the Rings ( the whole damn trilogy ) is the most overrated book of all time, especially among nerdy people like myself. I never bothered to read it when I was younger, but when it was announced that they were going to make Lord of the Rings movies, I figured that I'd better do my nerd-ly duty and read the thing before the movies came out.
Damn, I was almost angry by the time I finished the trilogy. I was angry when I though of all those hours of my life that I would never get back. Sure, I guess it was an okay saga, but I think the story could have been told in about 400 pages rather than the 1,200 pages I read. Seriously, it seems like the characters spent two thirds of the book just walking and eating. I know that mine is a minority opinion, because all nerdy folks seem to love that book, but I really hated it, and I don't care who I offend by saying it. OK, maybe I didn't hate it, but I just though reading it was a big waste of time ( Note: I played Dungeons and Dragons in high school, so I'm just the kind of person who is supposed to LOVE books like The Lord of the Rings ).

7) I was living in Manhattan, about 2 miles from ground zero on Sept 11, 2001. However, I slept through almost the whole thing. The night before, there was a work related "emergency" I needed to deal with, and I didn't get out of the office until about 4:30 AM on Sept 11th. I told my boss that I needed to get some sleep and would be getting work a few hours late the next day. I woke up at about 10:23 ( The second tower fell at 10:28 ). While I was brushing my teeth, the folks on the radio were talking about all the tunnels and bridges to New York being shut down. I listened while I was in the shower, still not sure what was going on. I was in the shower when they announced on the radio that second tower had collapsed. It was only then that I realized the magnitude of what was happening. Ruth ( she worked at a hospital near our apartment nowhere near downtown - so I knew she was safe ) and I were living on 23rd Street, on the 23rd floor or an apartment building. Our apartment had a small terrace which offered a good view of the World Trade Center. When I got out of the shower, I stepped out onto the terrace and looked south. All I could see was a giant cloud of dust where the World Trade Center had once been.
I actually still went to work that day ( Actually walked to work, because the subway was shut down ). My office was on 59th Street, far from horrible scene downtown. I was actually in the office until about midnight night, because we had to prepare for the possibility that all our servers in our downtown facility might lose power that day. So, it really wans't until the early morning hours of the Sept 12th, that everything began to sink in.

8) Ruth and I actually went to the same high school ( I graduated two years earlier than her, so we were in the school together for 2 years. Note that we went to the magnet school Styuvesant, so we didn't live anywhere near the same neighborhood - we both had long commutes to school ), but we actually never met in high school. We didn't meet until Ruth's first year at Cornell University.

9) I'm very lucky to have lived past the age of 18. Something happened more than 20 years ago, that probably should have killed me, but didn't. Some days when times are tough, or when I lack courage, I look back on that near-death experience, and realize that every day I have on this earth is a blessing that should be used to the fullest.
In August of 1988, about a week before I headed to college, 11 of my High School buddies and me got together at my friends Norman's house for a last night of hanging out. I remember we watched the movie "Fritz the Cat" that night, and that when Norman needed to run an errand, we managed to fit 12 people into his huge 1976 Buick ( 4 in the front, 5 in the back, 3 in the trunk. Why put 12 people in a car? Just because! ). Later that night after 4 of the guys needed to leave, we though it might be fun to take a random joy ride out to Long Island ( Norman lived in Brooklyn ). This time we took 2 cars, and put 4 people in each car. We drove out to some big tower at Jones Beach, hung out a bit, and then headed back to Brooklyn. By this time it had started to rain. It was probably about 3 in the morning, and the roads were kinda deserted. At some point Adam ( driving his car ) decided to blow by Norman ( in the huge Buick - I was in one of the back seats ) while the guy riding shotgun gave Norman the finger. Well, being an 18-year old male, Norman responded by accelerating past Adam. Then Adam accelerated past Norman, and Norman accelerated past Adam - well, you get the idea. Now, as I said earlier it was raining that night. It was also very dark on the roads - there were no streetlights at all on this stretch of road. So, I'm sitting there in the back seat ( as Norman inches closer to 100 miles an hour ) thinking "This really isn't a good idea. Maybe I should say something". Not only were we driving really fast on a wet and dark road, but nobody was wearing seat belts. Actually, the car was too old to have modern shoulder belts, and the lap belts were all buried in the thick seat cushions. What's worse was that the fella riding shotgun in Norman's car thought it was a good idea to keep hanging his body out the window. Luckily for him, his body was actually inside the car when the inevitable finally happened.
Just as I was about to open my mouth to beg Norman to slow down, Norman's car started to spin out of control. We had come to a sharp turn in the road at close to 100 miles an hour, and there was no way he could navigate that turn on the wet road. Norman screamed out "Oh Shit!", and I really thought those would be the last words I would ever hear. What a sad way it would have been to go. A bunch of teenage guys driving too fast. That kind of stuff happens all the time. I was just going to be another grim statistic. I was just going to be another reason why teenage guys have to pay such high car insurance rates. I ducked my head down and braced for impact. I was just hoping that a piece of steel wouldn't pierce my head in the next second. I was just hoping to have some chance to get out of that car alive. As we spun, I could feel the forces trying to pull the giant car off the ground. It felt like we might start tumbling end-over-end any second.
WHAM! We hit the a sturdy wooden highway divider/guardrail.
We spun some more and then ...
WHAM! We hit another divider ( probably the one on the other side ).
We spun and skidded some more, and then slowly came to a stop.
Amazingly, everybody was okay. There was lots of steam, but no fire. However, having watched enough movies to believe that cars ALWAYS blows up after a crash, we all hopped out of the car ( amazingly, the car doors were fine ) and ran away from the car as fast as we could. When we got out we saw Adam's car stopped ahead of us. He has been behind us when we spun out of control, but he somehow manage to avoid hitting us as he drove past us. We also saw a few hundred feet of car parts strewn on the road behind us.

The car?

Well, both the front and the back of the car looked very much like an accordion. Apparently, the front and back of the car had hit the guardrails, but the passenger compartment hardly had any damage. By some incredible stroke of luck ( The didn't design cars with front and back crumple zones in 1976 ), the front and back of the car had absorbed all the impact, and our seatbelt-less bodies were fine.

Well, the car never did blow up, and eventually a couple of guys who were driving by stopped to help ( Adam and the other 3 guys had come over by then ). They gave us some road flares, and asked if we wanted them to call the cops when they got to service station ( no cell phones back then ). We basically said , "Of course you should call the police. Why would you even ask us that?". They guys then told us, "I hope you realize that if the cops come, they are going to check your blood alcohol level.". We told them that none of us had been drinking ( which was true - we were a very nerdy bunch in that way ). One of the guys looked at the car, and then looked at us, and then looked at the car again, and then looked at us incredulously and said ...

"You did this straight!"

10) I accidentally killed my first pet. I couldn't have many pets because of my allergies, but at the age of 4 my parents got me a goldfish which I named Goldie. I used to love to watch when my Mom would clean Goldie's tank. She would use a tiny little net to transfer Goldie to a bowl of water, and then put Goldie back in the tank when she was done. This looked like fun, so one day when my Mom was upstairs ( the fish tank was in the kitchen downstairs ), I filled a bowl with water and tried to take Goldie out of the tank using the little net.
Well, as soon as the net emerged from that tank with Goldie ( the little net was on the end of a stick ), Goldie jumped out of the net and on the to kitchen floor. I tried to pick up Goldie ( now flopping violently ) with the net, but that didn't seem to work. I was afraid to pick to up Goldie with my bare hand ( it seems too icky ), so I ran upstairs crying to get my Mom's help. By the time my Mom got downstairs it was too late. Goldie was dead.
So anyway, that's kinda a tough way for a 4-year old to lose his first pet. I don't think I'm traumatized or anything, but I still do feel a little guilty.

11) I have a "phonographic memory". After a hear a song a few times ( assuming the song is at least a little catchy ), I generally have it memorized for life. Not just the lyrics, but every inflection in the singer's voice, and every sound made by every instrument.
For example, about a year ago Ruth bought a DVD of a Sesame Street Christmas special. It was a program that my brother I used to watch via VCR, but I had not seen it in about 27 years. The show had about 10 songs in it, and each time I heard the first few notes of a song, I found that I was able to remeber the rest of the song instantly.
This kind of stuff happens all the time, but it is both a blessing and curse. It's a blessing when it's time to do some Karaoke, but it's curse when I can't get the jingle from some crappy commercial out of my head. I often find myself singing random commercial jingles during the day.

12) I love to watch chick-flick type movies staring Hugh Grant. There's just something I love about his self-effacing charm. It's not that I'm personally charmed by him as a woman might be, it's just that I greatly admire his ability to be so charming ( Note: I really don't really like the movies in which he plays a cad, like the Bridget Jones Diary movies. I like the movies where he shows off his natural self-effacing charm like "Four Wedding and a Funeral", "Love Actually", "Music and Lyrics", and "Notting Hill" ( BTW, I just *LOVE* the Elvis Costello song "She" from "Notting Hill". If you've never heard the song, do yourself a big favor right NAO and click on this link. )).
I know he's an actor playing roles, but I really don't think his charm is an act. I became convinced of this after the Divine Brown incident. I certainly don't admire that fact that he cheated on his girlfriend with a hooker, but I can't help but be impressed that he never lost his ability to charm during the whole controversy over the incident. I remember that he was booked to be on Jay Leno on the week the Divine Brown thing happened. Most stars would have canceled their appearance, but Hugh just went on Jay's show, basically admitted he was an idiot in his charming self-effacing way, and charmed almost the entire world into forgiving him ( though I doubt Liz Hurley ever forgave him ). Hugh couldn't even turn off the charm when he was doing something as seedy as picking up a hooker. Reportedly, when he picked up Ms. Brown, she said "Hi, I'm Divine", and Hugh replied "You certainly are!".
Anyway, the reason I really love to watch Hugh Grant do his thing is that I really wish I'd had a little bit of that charm back in high school and college. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I wished I'd been some kind of Don Juan who used his charm to score with lots of girls. As I mentioned before in a blog post, I'm the type of guy who falls for only one girl at a time, and when I fall, I fall REALLY deeply ( and my intentions are very much on the romantic side rather than the booty-call side. ). I just wish I'd had just a little bit of that charm when I was trying to get the attentions of the few girls that I did fall for deeply. I was really clueless about how to talk to girls when I got to high school. I didn't have any older siblings, my Mom and Dad never spoke to me about that kinda stuff, and the only pop culture icon I had to look to was "The Fonz" from "Happy Days". Well, in the world of "The Fonz", girls were only attracted to guys who were macho and cool. Well, I knew I wasn't macho and cool, and I knew I never would be. Based on my misconception that "macho and cool" was the only way to go, I naturally had ZERO confidence around girls. If Hugh Grant movies had existed back in the days before I went to high school, things might have been different.
If I could have watched Hugh Grant movies as a young teen, I would have known that the macho guy isn't always the one who gets the girl. I would have realized that the sensitive guys do pretty well in the girl department as well. I would have learned about the magic of self-effacing charm. I would have learned that a guy could take his flaws and insecurities, and by using the magic judo-like techniques of self-effacing charm, he could flip those insecurities over and turn them into attributes.
I'm not saying that I could have been a master-charmer like Hugh Grant, but considering all my natural insecurities, the whole self-effacing charm thing would have SO worked for me back then.
And look, it's not as if I wish I 'd dated and married any of these pre-Ruth girls in my life. I'm happy with my life right now. However, a little charm in high school and college would have saved me from a lot of pain and damage to my self-esteem. The damage to my self-esteem was really bad at times, and I think it still affects me a little bit today.
I can still remember tremendous self-loathing I felt when I found I couldn't even gather up the courage to talk to a girl I had fallen for. This feeling was especially acute when I was going through the "High School Girl #1" period of my life ( I'm going to assume the small group of people reading this have already seen me refer to "High School Girl #1" in my previous blog posts. If you want to know more about this story, please watch the YouTube video at this link. The short story is that I fell for this girl early in my Sophomore year soon after we were paired up as Chemistry lab partners ). She was in my homeroom ( The short session at start of the school day were they made announcements and took attendance ), and because our last names started with the same letter, she sat right in front of me ( BTW, the girl who sat immediately behind me in homeroom eventually became "High School Girl #2". I guess I was easy to please. If a girl sat close enough to me for a long enough time, I guess I would eventually fall for her - but more on that later ). Well, each day in homeroom there were about 15 minutes of time when people just chatted before attendance was taken. Based on our proximity, I could have spoken to this girl every single school day. However, even though she was quite friendly and talkative, and often chatted with groups of friend that had come to her desk, I could never insert myself into a conversation. All I really had to do was OPEN MY FREAKIN' MOUTH, but I couldn't seem to do it. This went on day after day after day, and every day it killed me a little bit inside. I REALLY REALLY hated myself during this period of my life. My self-esteem and confidence plummeted day after day, and this went on for 16 months ( with a little break during the summer when school was out ) before I finally found the courage to let her know how I felt ( via a letter - I didn't even have the courage to approach her then ) .
So yeah, a little bit of Hugh Grant charm would have helped a lot back then. I'm not saying I would have wound up dating this girl, but I certainly would have felt a lot better about myself if I'd had the confidence to chat with her each day. To be honest, if I'd actually had a little bit of that Hugh Grant charm, I doubt I would have fallen for this girl at all. The fact that I fell for her when I fell for her is almost a direct result of my lack of confidence with girls. She was in my homeroom all of Freshmen year, and I had a few classes with her that year as well. So, I saw her almost every day Freshmen year, but there wasn't a single moment Freshmen year when I felt an ounce of romantic feelings for her. However, at the start of Sophomore year we became Chemistry lab partners. All of a sudden, I was spending time with her twice a week for about an hour at a time. All of a sudden, there was a girl in my life who was talking to me, there was a girl in my life who as joking with me, there was a girl in my life who was smiling at me. Sure, it was only in the context of Chem lab, but for a guy like me, it was a big deal. Anyway, as un-confident and vulnerable as I was, it was inevitable that I was going to fall for the first girl I really got to interact with. And look, I'm not saying there wasn't any legitimate reason for a guy to be attracted to this girl ( she was sweet, smart ( she eventually became a doctor ) and pretty ). I'm just saying that I wouldn't have focused on this girl like a laser beam for 16th months if I'd had more experience talking to girls. All I really needed was a wee bit of charm, and I could have avoided a lot of heartache ( and left high school with my self-confidence intact ).
Well, when my boys get old enough, I'm going to make them watch a bunch of Hugh Grant movies. Perhaps they won't really need the help with their bi-racial good-looks, but leaning a little bit about charm couldn't hurt.

13) Cary Grant is my favorite actor of all time, for the same sort of reasons that I love Hugh Grant. Of course, I would never think that I could ever have "Cary Grant charm". There's probably never been a more charming man on earth, and frankly, I've always just been in awe of the man.

14) I hate to make small talk. I really hate talking to people that are simply acquaintances rather than friends. I avoid small talk at all cost. From 1996 - 1998 ( just after we were married ) Ruth and I lived on the 4th floor of an apartment building. There was an elevator in the building, but if I noticed that there was somebody already in the elevator, I always took the stairs up. It's not that I don't like people - it's just that it feels un-genuine to chat with people that I really wouldn't choose to chat with if we were not riding an elevator together. I know we are supposed to be polite, but small talk just feels dishonest to be. Why should I ask "How are you doing?", when I really don't know the person and could care less about how they are doing? It's not that I wish random people any ill will, it's just that I don't really care, and it feels wrong to me to pretend that I care. However, I also don't want to hurt anybody's feeling by not talking to them, so I try to avoid situations where I need to talk to strangers/acquaintances.

15) Despite that fact that I don't like small talk, I'm one of those rare people who can really get along with anybody. I can think of a few examples in high school where I was friends with pairs of people who were basically enemies. I could get along with each person fine, even though these people didn't like each other at all. I need to REALLY REALLY like a person before he/she becomes a close friend, but I can become a "hang out" friend with just about anybody. I can enjoy somebody's company even if there are things I don't like about a person. I can find something positive in almost person I meet, and I choose to focus on the positive rather than the negative when I interact with somebody.

16) I really love computer adventure games like the "Monkey Island" series, "The Longest Journey", and "Grim Fandango". You know, the type of games were you walk around collecting objects and talking to people. Based on what the people tell you, you need to figure out what to do with the objects. I can really get lost in a game like that - it's kinda like being in a movie. Unfortunately, they don't seem to make too many good games like that anymore. Well, I guess it's just as well. I used to spend a lot of time on those type of games, but as a parent, I really don't have time now. My free time is limited, and I'd really rather spend time interacting with real people online than with fake people in a computer game.

Edit: Just to make sure I give credit where credit is due, the song "She" sung by Elvis Costello in "Notting Hill" was actually written by Charles Aznavour.