Bad Tiger

Tiger Woods used to be the most famous athlete in the world, but since then, he's committed the biggest crime a public figure can commit.

He's become boring.

Let's face it, all these 37th place finishes and all these petulant, defiant, and yet somehow bland press conferences have been really boring.

I guess he could get exciting again if he actually started to win, but since that's probably not going to happen anytime soon, I suggest the following ....

Tiger needs to turn into Bad Tiger.

- Bad Tiger would wear a sinister looking beard at all times.  I see he's actually started to grow one, so he's well on his way.  However, the beard has got to get a lot more sinister.  I'm talking about the "evil twin" style beard they used on Knight Rider and the original Star Trek series.

- Bad Tiger would wear black at all times.

- Bad Tiger would never smile, except for the few seconds before erupting into a sinister laugh.

- Bad Tiger would be rude to all golf fans.  He would insult them during tournaments, revel in their boos, and would never sign autographs ( Except at events where fans were forced to cough up lots of cash ).

- Bad Tiger would never been seen off the golf course without at least two bimbos on his arms.

- Bad Tiger would neglect to pay his child support.

- Bad Tiger would refer to his ex-wife as a gold-digger and a ho.

- To make up for all the endorsement contracts he's lost lately, Bad Tiger would endorse products like porn sites, condoms, and AshleyMasidon.com. 

- Bad Tiger would relentlessly hit on his fellow golfers' wifes and girlfriends, and whenever possible, their daughters.  He would also brag continually about his conquests.

- To finally push things over the top, Bad Tiger would go all Clubber Lang in a press conference with Phil Michelson.  Bad Tiger would leer at Phil's cancer striken wife Amy and say "Hey woman!  Bring your pretty little self over to my mansion tonight, and I'll show you a real man!.".

C'mon, who wouldn't love that?  What golf really needs to get its mojo back is a pure unadulterated villain ( Actually, considering how much he's cheated on his wife, maybe we should refer to Tiger as "adulterated" ).  C'mon Bad Tiger, fill that void!

Rich