Old Body

My left foot is killing me today.

Not that I'm surprised by that - it's something that I'm starting to get used to. My foot's been that way for about 4 or 5 months now. When it first started, it felt like a twisted ankle, but I couldn't actually remember twisting my ankle. Anyway, it didn't really bother me too much. Back in my teen years, when I was playing pickup basketball just about every day, I used to sprain my ankles rather frequently. I've dealt with severely sprained ankles in the past, and this just felt like a minor strain. The ankle pain I was feeling was the kind of thing that would usually go away in just a day or two.

But it didn't go away. It hasn't gone away. In fact, it seems like it's getting progressively worse over time. Not a lot worse - it's not like I'm in severe pain or anything - but it has started to get annoying.

As I said before, I don't really remember a single event that led to the pain. The pain just came out of nowhere one day, and it has just kinda lingered since then. With that in mind, it has occurred to me that this is some kind of repetitive stress injury. In other words, I'm getting old.

( Actually, I'm not even sure if "repetitive stress" is the right term. I think "repetitive stress" usually means something like Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. What I'm talking about is an injury you get from overuse, like Tennis Elbow, or knee injuries from running too much. I'm too tired to look up the proper term for that right now, so I'm just going to use the term "repetitive stress" in this post. )

I probably have some kind of slightly torn tendon/ligament , or some kind of small stress fracture in one of the bones in my foot ( The pain seems to be concentrated on the left side of my left foot, where the top of the foot meets the ankle ). Ruth ( my wife, who in case you forgot, is a doctor ) initially thought it was a stress fracture, but we are now both leaning towards the theory that it is a ligament/tendon thing. The pain is actually worst when I first wake up in the morning, or when I've been sitting for a long time without moving. The first step each morning was starting to get REALLY painful until Ruth told me to try moving my left foot/ankle around for about 15 seconds each morning before taking my fist step. This seems to cut down on the pain A LOT, so Ruth thinks it's probably some kind of tendon/ligament issue. She says the tendon/ligament probably contracts at night when I'm sleeping and becomes less flexible. This lack of flexibility leads to micro-tears in the tendon/ligament when I take those first steps, and probably does more damage to whatever happens to be damaged.

So yeah, I've got low flexibility in the foot, and probably some kind of tears in the tendons/ligaments related to the lack of flexibility. It would probably take an MRI to be absolutely sure ( and I doubt any doctor would recommend an expensive MRI for minor pain - and frankly I would feel like a real wuss if I demanded an MRI because of some minor ankle pain ), but the bottom line is ... I'M OLD.

But as I said, the pain's not that bad. Once I get the foot/ankle all warmed up, I don't really notice any pain at. In fact, I can run long distances on my treadmill without feeling pain. Yes, I can run to my heart's content - and that's probably at the root of the problem.

( Lots of running ) + OLD = Repetitive Stress Injury

Repetitive Stress Injury + Running = Worse Injury

However, it hard for me to stop running, because I believe ...

Body - Running = Out of Shape Body

Life + Running = Longer Life

Lungs + Asthma = Weak Lungs

Weak Lungs + Running = Strong Lungs

Weak Lungs + Swine Flu = Death

You get the idea. As a person born with asthma, having a strong lungs and a strong cardio-vascular system is very important to me. Running is a great way to keep my heart/lungs in tip-top shape. I really don't want to stop running, but it's becoming clear that all the running I'm doing is starting to contribute to my joints breaking down.

It's not just my ankle. I've had issues with my knees for as long as I can remember. Even in high school, they would occasionally swell up on me. It's not that I really get knee pain, but if I do too much running my knees get all spongey. I'm pretty sure "spongey" isn't a word, but what I mean is that if I run too frequently, my knees feel like they are made out a sponge-type material rather than something solid. It doesn't really hurt, but it can be rather disconcerting - you kinda feel like your knee might give way any second. Well, I'm probably overtstating things, it's not really that bad ( yet ) but I've always worried about how my knees would hold up as I got progressively older.

We'll about 17 months ago or so, my left knee almost did give out on the treadmill. Actually, it didn't come close to giving out, but it did start to feel rather funny. I probably should have stopped running immediately, but I stupidly tied to "suck it up", and ran at full speed for about 10 more minutes. As soon as I got off the treadmill, I knew I had made a mistake. My knee just wasn't working right, and I realized that I was going to have to quit my running routine for a while. About 2 months past before I decided to to try running again. My knee still didn't feel quite right by then, so I started running significantly slower than I had before, vowing to eventually work my way back to my pre-injury speed. I'm almost all the way back to peak form ( I'm hoping to match my personal best time for 2 miles by the time I turn 40 on January 15th ), and my knee feels reasonably fine ( though who knows how it will respond when I start running at full speed again ), but now I've got this issue with my ankle. About 6 weeks ago, I took 3 weeks off from running to see if my ankle would heal, but if anything, it felt worse after those 3 weeks. So eventually I said "Screw it! I'm just going to deal with the pain and start running again. January 15th is right around the corner, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to meet my fitness goal!".

The point of all this blabbering of mine is to try and express how conflicted I feel. I've figured out by now that running is both very good for me ( My heart, lungs, general fitness, etc. ) and very bad for me ( my OLD joints ), and I'm not sure where I should go from here. I know there are non-impact ways to get good cardio-vsacular workouts, but I don't really enjoy doing the non-impact stuff, and if I don't enjoy doing something, I'm not going to be motivated enough to do it. I really can't see myself quiting running anytime soon. If that means my joints break down, so be it, but I really can't see myself quiting now.

What I worry about is that I'll someday be a 70-year old man who has the heart and lungs of a 30-year old, but has the joints of a 100-year old. That would be rather ironic. There I would be limping around all the time after a life of working out hard, while some 70-year old dude who spent his life eating chips while watching TV would be able to walk around without a problem.

Things are kinda like that for me now, to a certain extent. Thanks to my intense workouts, I can do athletics things that most guys pushing 40 couldn't dream of doing. However, I'll occassionaly walk around with a slight limp, and my knees tend to make cracking noises whenever I move them. However, if I need to ( for example if I'm several locks from the train station and my train is going to leave in a few minutes ), I can break into a sprint that would put most 20-year-olds to shame. However, after that, I'll go right back to being an almost 40-year-old limping guy.

Yeah, so all this exercise make me feel both young and OLD. Actually more OLD. Each ache and pain reminds me of my mortality. I'll probably never lose the desire to work out hard, but ultimately, my body WILL betray me. Eventually, my joints WILL break down. Still, I'd rather go out fighting than slowly let my body go soft while eating chips and watching TV. I'm just going to keep on running and enjoy the ride for as log as I can.

Rich