After spending consecutive Sundays watching a fun Fantastic Beasts movie and another depressing Jets loss, I got to thinking about how Jets fans are like Hufflepuffs. As any Potterhead knows, Hufflepuffs value dedication and loyalty, and you've got to be dedicated and loyal to remain a Jets fan after all these years of losing. In additional to dedication and loyalty, I noticed one Hufflepuff trait that fits Jets fans in this quote from the Harry Potter Wiki page on Hufflepuff:
"Hufflepuff is the most inclusive among the four houses; valuing hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play rather than a particular aptitude in its students."I highlighted "patience" above, because if there is one thing Jets fans need a lot of, it's patience.
So, having categorized Jets fans as Hufflepuffs, I thought it would be fun to sort the fans of the rest of the New York City area sports teams in Hogwarts houses.
A few notes before we begin ...
- I'm sorting fans of a team based on the collective average psyche of all the fans of a team. Obviously there is going to be variation across a populations of fans. For example, any Jets fan who bravely suffers loses without getting down and greets each new season with optimism is a Gryffindor. However, most of us are Hufflepuffs who subscribe to the philosophy of "same old Jets".
- I should also note that when I tried to figure out the average psyche of a fan base, I considered how fans might vary over different age ranges. For example, any New York Giants fan old enough to remember their 25+ years of futility prior to 1986 probably belongs in a different Hogwarts house than a Giants fan who started rooting for them in 1986. I did my best to consider the age distribution of a fan base when sorting them into a Hogwarts house ( I just made estimates - it wasn't like I was pulling up actuarial tables for each fab base. ).
- It is also worth noting that the same individual can be sorted into 2 or more different Hogwarts houses in relation to the teams they root for. For example, a large number of my friends root for both the Yankees and Giants, but I think their Giants-fan persona needs to be sorted into a different house than their Yankees-fan persona.
OK, so with all that said, let's get out the sorting hat.
Yankees fans: Slytherin
OK, I've got to start with the Yankees, because I know this is the one I might get the most grief for. Yes, I've always hated the Yankees, and I'm sure that's part of the reason why I have sorted the Yankees fans into the "evil" Hogwarts house, but I swear, there is a lot more to it than that. One of the most prominent attributes of Slytherins ( and important plot points of the book series ) is the pride they have in their pure-blood lineage. To Slytherins, ancestry matters a lot; being from the right family matters a lot; having distinguished ancestors matters a lot. Slytherins tend to think that their ancestry makes them better than other wizards. Well, how many time have you heard a Yankees fan tell you that the Yankees have won 27 championships? They talk about "Yankees Pride", and they always seem the project a sense that they are better fans than you because they root for a team that is better than your team.
Yup, Yankees fans are Slytherins.
Giants fans: Gryffindor
And yet, almost all of those Yankees fans who are Slytherins in their Yankees-fan persona are not Slytherins in their Giants-fan persona. Sure, there are a small percentage younger Giants fans who have only seen relatively good years and might have some of the Slytherin qualities of Yankees fans, but very few Giants fans have the arrogant pride of Yankees fans. Older Giants fans suffered for years. They remember losing the championship to Johnny Unitas in overtime. They remember Joe Pisarcik. They remember Bill Parcells going 3-12-1 in his first year. Even the Giants fans who grew up with the LT championship teams suffered through the 6-9 strike season after winning the Super Bowl, Flipper Anderson, blowing a 24-point lead in the playoffs to the 49ers, and losing their chance to repeat as champions in 2008 because their star wide receiver shot himself in the leg. Giants fans understand that winning isn't something you can take for granted. They are true-blue fans who not only root for their team passionately, but also do not show any resentment during the rare times the Jets are the better team in town. I've also never encountered a Giants fan who teases Jets fans about how bad the usually Jets are ( even though a lot of they same people do tease Mets fans ). Giants fans respect their rivals, but they don't fear them. Giants fans felt confident facing an 18-0 Pats team, couldn't wait for a rematch with the Pats during the 2011 playoffs, and would love to get a shot at Tom Brady again. These folks are Gryffindors.
Mets fans: Hufflepuff
Mets fans in in the same boat ( house ) as Jets fans. The Mets have made their fans suffer in myriad ways over the years. There has almost always been a far superior team across town, and yet Mets fans have remained loyal.
Knicks fans: Gryffindor
Based on the Knicks terrible history, you might think Knicks fans would belong in Hufflepuff with Mets and Jets fans, but Knicks fans don't get any credit for being loyal when the alternative has always been the Nets. However, you do have to pretty brave to keep rooting for a teams that's been so bad for so many years, and when the Knicks are actually good, the fans at the Garden have a swagger that no other NYC fan base can match. They are definitely Gryffindors.
Nets fans: Hufflepuff
Any Nets fan who abandoned the Knicks when the Nets moved to Brooklyn is a Slytherin, but most Nets fans have been life-long Nets fan from the New Jersey Nets days ( some go back to the Dr. J New York Nets days ). Part of me thinks they should not get credit for being loyal Hufflepuffs when the alternative has always been the woeful Knicks, but ...
1) Despite the Knicks being a terrible team, there has always been for more cachet attached to being a Knicks fan than being a Nets fan, particularly when the Nets were in New Jersey. If you walk down a crowed street in New York City in a Knicks T-shirt, there's a good chance a fellow Knicks fans might give you a thumbs up, regardless of the Knicks record. If you ever walked down a street ( be it New York, New Jersey, or anywhere else ) in a New Jersey Nets T-shirt, people on the street would just feel sorry for you ( including any Nets fans on the street ).
2) While I'm impressed that most New Jersey Nets fans did not becomes Knicks fans, I'm even more impressed that most Nets fans did not give up watching basketball altogether after watching some of those Nets teams.
It sucks to be the a fan of the number 2 team in a given sport in a city, but you can understand and accept it when the number 1 team has been a much more successful franchise than your team. It's got to be really disheartening to be the number 2 team in town to the Knicks. If you can handle being second fiddle to the Knicks, you are a proud Hufflepuff.
Rangers fans: Gryffindor
Rangers fans are tough sons-of-bitches. They never failed to chant "Potvin Sucks" while the New York Islanders dominated the early 1980's, and I've heard stories that wearing the wrong jersey in the old "Blue Seats" could get you maimed. They would never think of leaving the Rangers the Islanders or Devils, and unlike the sad sack Jets and Mets fans of Hufflepuff house, the Ranger fans always seemed to believe that next year would be their year, regardless of any evidence to the contrary.
Devils fans: Ravenclaw
When the Devils ( the former Colorado Rockies ) move to New Jersey, New Jersey hockey fans were presented with a choice. They could keep rooting for the Rangers ( there were probably very few Islander fans in New Jersey at the time, consider that MSG was much closer to Jersey than the Nassau Colosseum ) or they could give the new team in town a try. Considering the Devils have won 3 championships since then and the Rangers have only won 1, I think the New Jersey residents who switched made a wise Ravenclaw choice. They also get some brainy Ravenclaw cred for being only hockey fans who really understand and appreciated the neutral zone trap.
New York Islanders fans: ???
I saved this one for last because these are the hardest fans to sort. The Islanders fans who mercilessly chanted "1940!" at suffering Rangers fans were certainly showing some Slytherin tendencies, but there are plenty of Islanders fan under 40 who don't ever remember when the Islanders were the undisputed kings of the NHL, and anyone under 30 probably doesn't even remember the "1940!" chant ( because the Rangers finally ended their title drought in 1994 ). It's been a really rough 35 years for Islander fans since the their team last lifted the Stanley Cup in the spring of 1983. The team has almost always been terrible, ownership has been inept, their stadium crumbled around them for years, and then their team abandoned their loyal Long Island fan base and moved to Brooklyn ( but they'll be coming back to Long Island soon ). Through it all, Islander fans have been loyal, which makes me think they might be Hufflepuffs, but I just can't give the Hufflepuff designation to a fan base that won 4 championships in a row in my lifetime ( No other team in the 4 major American sports has matched that feat since then ). Middle-aged and older Islander fans can still look back on 4 championship. The only champion Hogwarts Hufflepuffs have to look back on is Cedric Diggory ( and SPOILER ALERT, Cedric didn't get to enjoy that glory for long ). So, Islanders fans have a little a bit of Slytherin and a little bit of Hufflepuff, but not enough to be sorted into either of those houses. However, they still have a fighting spirit after the all these years so ...
Rich
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