Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Football Grand Slam

10 years ago or so, I would have never thought it was possible, but I actually enjoyed this year's World Cup.  I'm really starting to warm up to soccer, and based on the huge enthusiastic crowds at all those World Cup viewing parties ( some of which filled entire arenas ), I'm certainly not the only person in the USA who feels this way.

Of course, a year from now, most of us ( including myself ) won't give soccer a second thought.  It's hard for an Americans to stay interested soccer when ...
1) the World Cup only happens once every 4 years.
2) we don't have any major league soccer in the USA ( Yes, I know we have "Major League Soccer", but the MLS is at best a 5th-rate league by anyone's standards ( Actually, it's the 12th best league according to this ).  I'm happy to see the MLS is sparking grass-roots soccer enthusiasm in places like Portland and Seattle, and I think the league has the potential to blossom into something much bigger someday, but for fans who are used to watching the best football, basketball, baseball, and hockey players in the world, minor league soccer really isn't going to cut it. ).

If soccer is ever going to catch-on in the USA, we need a major event to follow every year.  I think we'd all love to watch team USA in the World Cup each year, but it's unlikely the FIFA would ever break with tradition and hold an annual World Cup.  Instead, I'd like to propose something new.  I'd like to propose ...

The Football Grand Slam! *

* If this idea is every going to catch on worldwide, we can't have "soccer" in the name considering that the entire world outside of the USA calls the sport "football".  

Most of us are familiar with the concept of the "Grand Slam" in golf and tennis.  Each of those sports has four "major" tournaments a year, and if you manage to win all 4 of those tournaments in one calendar year you achieve "The Grand Slam" ( While this is a very rare feat, the term "Grand Slam" is still heard a lot in these sports as those who win all 4 of the majors in a career are said to achieve the "Career Grand Slam" and the term "a grand slam" is sometime used interchangeably with the term "major" ( For example, some might say that Roger Federer has won 17 "grands slams" or 17 "majors" to indicate that he has won 17 major tournaments. ).

Well, if golf and tennis can have 4 major tournaments, why not football ( In the context of the "Football Grand Slam", I'll always use the term "football" to refer to the sport named "soccer" in the USA. )?  Now, while we certainly can't have 4 international tournaments a year, we can have 4 tournaments over each 4-year World Cup cycle.  While only one of these four tournaments will be the World Cup, the other 3 tournaments will each have a special feature that will make them unique and exciting.  The other tournaments will be ...

The Olympics
This one is easy; we already have an Olympic football tournament every 4 years ( 2 years removed from the World Cups ).  Its format and rules ate just like the World Cups rules, but we really don't have to change anything to make this tournament unique and special.  The Olympics make it special enough.  Winning the Olympic football tournament may never be as prestigious as winning the World Cup, but gold medals are forever.

So, the World Cup and the Olympics fill in half our "Grand Slam" tournaments leaving only 2 tournaments to go.  Before anyone out there brings up the FIFA Confederation Cup, stop - just stop.  I want the "Football Grand Slam" to consist of 4 special tournaments, and nobody will ever consider the Confederation Cup to be special.  It's basically a warm-up for the World Cup these days, and only 8 countries actually play games in the host country ( after qualifying in regional tournaments ).  I may not be a football expert, but that doesn't seem like a special tournament to me.  To fill out the line-up for the Football Grand Slam, I'm going to invent 2 new tournaments, starting with ...

The "Let's get rid of those stupid shoot-outs" tournament
The biggest complaint you hear about the World Cup is that it is unfair for a hard-fought game to be decided by a penalty kick shoot-out.  In the knock-out stage of the World Cup, if a game is tied after 90 minutes of regulation, they play two 15-minute overtime periods.  If the game is still tied after 30 minutes of overtime, the game is decided by a penalty shootout.  Nobody likes the shoot-out but it is considered necessary because most players are exhausted after 120 minutes of playing, and the rules of football only allows 3 substitutions per-game.

Well, rules-schmules!  Who says ever tournament needs to have the same rules?  The rules in just about all tennis tournaments designate that you need to play a tie-breaker if a set is tied 6 games to 6, but Wimbledon had decreed that there will be no tie-breakers in a decisive 5th set, even if that means you sometimes need to play a 7-hour 70-68 5th set.

What sports fan doesn't like to watch a multiple overtime game in any sport ( or a baseball game with 15 or more innings )?  Some of the most memorable moments sports history happened in marathon games.  If this works in other sports, why not football?

I propose that one of the Grand Slam tournaments should work just like the World Cup ( 32 team group stage, followed by a 16 team knockout stage ), except that the penalty shoot-out will be eliminated in the the knockout stage.  The teams would play multiple 30-minute overtime periods until somebody scored ( Unlike the World Cup, each overtime period would be a sudden-death overtime.  I have no idea why the World Cup no longer plays sudden-death ( golden goal ) overtime ( the World Cup had sudden death overtime in the past ).  After all, how would you rather see an overtime game end - with the winning team celebrating the game-winning goal or with the the winning team spending the last 10-minutes stalling to protect a 1-goal overtime lead? ).  We would keep the players from getting too exhausted by instituting one more rule-change; after 120 minutes of total game time, substitutions would be unlimited.  Football purists might not like the idea of unlimited substitutions, but I can't see how anyone could argue that unlimited substitutions would be more of a bastardization of football than the penalty shoot-out.

OK, we've now got 3 fun tournaments for our Football Grand Slam, but I've saved the best for last.  Introducing ...

The "March Madness" football tournament
This tournament doesn't need to be in March, but it will be modeled after the most popular tournament in the USA.  Everyone with a pulse in the USA loves excitement of the "March Maddness" NCAA basketball tournament, and I can't see how the world wouldn't love a 64-team single-elimination international football tournament.  Forget about all that group stage crap and forget about limiting the field to 32 countries.  I want this tournament to be full of teams from countries that have no football tradition whatsoever.  I want this tournament to have something that's sorely missing from the World Cup - The Cinderella.

Just imagine the excitement when a team like Albania scores a lucky goal to take an early lead in a first-round match-up against mighty Brazil.  Just imagine if Sierra Leone somehow manages to beat Germany.  Sure, such upsets will be exceedingly rare, but they'll be absolutely legendary the few times they happen, and just the possibility of such big upsets will be extremely exciting.

Oh, and we will allow the penalty-shootout in this tournament.  The shoot-out will make upsets more likely ( an inferior team could focus 100% on defense and hope for a shoot-out after a 0-0 tie ), and this tournament will be all about the upsets.

So, there you go.  If the Football Grand Slam becomes a reality, we'll have an exciting international football tournament to watch every year.  Of course, considering less than 10 people read this blog on a regular basis, it's extremely unlikely that this idea will ever take root.  However, if you think this is a good idea and would like to lend a hand in trying to make it a reality, tweet out this blog post under the hashtag #FootballGrandSlam, especially if you've got some friends in countries that actually care about football.  Let's try to convince the world that we should all enjoy some World Cup style football every year.

Rich