A different kind of happiness

And so it begins ...

We finally broke down and got our kids a Wii on Monday.  They've played with it all night for the past three nights.  We'll still not sure if we've made the right decisions.

( Note I wrote most of this post on June 15th ( a few days after Peter's birthday on June 12th), so "Monday" in the paragraph above refers to June 13th.   However, I've been too busy to work on this post since then, so this entry is being posted about 2 weeks after that. )

Considering all the time I spent playing video games as a kid, I'm probably the last person who should claim to have the moral authority to forbid his kids from playing videos games.  I barely have a leg to stand on with the "playing video games will lead to bad grades" argument.  After all, I did fine in school despite all the video games.  However, I also happened to be blessed ( cursed? ) with a natural self-discipline which led me to do things like rip up pictures I drew for kindergarten homework when I thought I hadn't done a good enough job.

My kids don't quite have the same level of focus on their schoolwork.  Sure, Michael is blessed with a brain that has made school really easy for him, and Peter has a natural curiosity that will serve him very well  ( He asks questions that his older brother would never think to ask. ).  However, they both get distracted very easily, and they still have a lot of trouble doing their homework unless you sit with them and make sure they stay at the table.

So, I'm worried that this Wii will be a big distraction, but ...

1) Summer vacation is about to start ( June 15 was the last day of school before vacation ).

2) I've rationalized that we can use the Wii as a motivating tool ( "You've can't play with the Wii until you finish your homework"; "You can't play with the Wii until you practice Piano ( they start lessons this week )"; "You can't play with the Wii until you read for a while"; etc. )

3) It was Peter's birthday, and Peter asked for the Wii in the sweetest way.

Peter turned 6 on June 12th.  He had a really happy day, but at the end of the day he asked if we could get him the game "Just Dance 2".  "Just Dance 2" is a Wii game, and for the last few months, Peter has been dancing to "Just Dance 2" videos on YouTube.  A few months ago, we was introduced to the game when he spent the evening at a "Parent's night out" event at his day-care center ( Peter was in half-day kindergarten this year ( Because our big prick of a Governor Chris Christie cut public education funding so much ( while giving big tax breaks to rich folks ) that public schools had to lay-off lots of teachers. ( Michael had full day kindergarten last year before a bunch of brain-dead New Jersey swing voters elected a right wing Republican governor in a state that usually elects Democrats ( Christie's approval rating is now polling at under 50% percent, because apparently a lot of the bozos who voted for him are now shocked and dismayed that a right-wing Republican governor is actually implement right-wing Republican policies in the state. ).).  So, because there was no full-day kindergarten, Peter had to go to a day care center  for half the school-day. About 3 times a year, the day care center has a "Parent's Night Out" promotion, when they'll take care of the kids so the parents can actually go out on a date. ).  As you may already know, Peter loves to dance, and from that point on, all he's wanted to do is play "Just Dance 2".  However, I still wasn't sure if we should get the kids a non-educational video game system ( They've had a few educational systems, but they've kinda outgrown those ), and for the last few months he's seemed content enough to dance along to YouTube videos.

However, on the night of his birthday, he asked the following question is a very sweet and gentle way.

"Could I play "Just Dance 2" for real someday?".  When I asked him if he could "play" "Just Dance 2" on YouTube, he got a really sad look on his face, and asked again if he could play it "for real".  He didn't pout, he didn't scream, he didn't make demands of us - he just kinda sat there on the couch in silence looking rather sad.  My wife and I huddled up for a moment, and decided the time has come to get our kids a Wii.

OK, I now what some of you folks are thinking ....

"Man, Peter played you guys like a fiddle.  He must have known you guys couldn't resist his little sad face on his birthday."

I know I'm obviously biased about this, but you've got to believe me that it wasn't like that as all.  I know things will inevitably change when they get older, but right now I don't think my kids have a devious bone in their bodies.  Peter was genuinely sad on what to that point has been a really happy day.  I don't think I'd every seen Peter as happy as he'd been at his Chuck E' Cheese birthday party that day ( see photo below ) , and it filled me with as much joy as I'd ever felt.

( Click to enlarge to see full-screen happiness )

And that brings us to the title of this blog post.  The joy a parent gets from his kid's happiness is truly "a different kind of happiness."

Now, I'm going to try my best not to annoy of you folks out there who don't have kids.  I'm sure you've all gotten sick to your stomach at times when you've heard gushing parents says things like "Until you've had kids, you'll never understand what love is" and "There's nothing like the love a parent feels for a child".  I really  don't want to sound like one of *those* parents who are so full of themselves and the parenting experience, but ...

... there really is something different about the happiness you feel as a parent when your child is happy.  I'm not even going to try to explain it, because words just can't describe it.  It's just different - wonderful and different.

  In addition to that "different" kind of happiness, most parents are lucky enough to also experience feelings of pride on occasion.  I was really proud of Michael recently, but perhaps not for a reason you might have guessed.  Sure, parents always feels some pride when their kids accomplish something great, but the pride I felt can best be understood by reading the paragraphs below from this fine article:

"

Here’s the thing. I want my kids to be successful, sure. But more than anything I want them to be soulful and moral. Yes, I would like to see them prosper, afford nice things, and earn the admiration of their peers. But damn it, if money and status become more important to them than being ethical, altruistic, and giving then I have utterly failed as a parent.

My friend Dennis Prager, the radio host and author, tells a story of a woman who bragged to him that her children were top doctors and lawyers. He asked her, “Are they good people?” “Why of course,” she responded. And then his clincher. “Then why didn’t you tell me that first?”

I am proud when my kids show me a good report card. But I receive real joy when people who have met them tell me how respectful and warm they are.

"

For the first 6 years of his life, Peter slept in the same room as his Mom.  He was too scared too sleep alone, , and he's been sleeping right next to his Mom for years.  Of course, as sweet as it was that Peter wanted to sleep next to his Mommy each night ( it always warmed my heart to see him cuddled up next to her ), we knew this couldn't last forever.  Ruth and I convinced him that he should try sleeping in his own room "like a big boy" when he turned 6 years old. We knew it might be hard for him, but we let him know about a month ahead of time that June 12th would be his first night sleeping in his room by himself.

Well, the big night came, and when we took Peter to his room, we found that two of Michael's favorite stuffed animals were in Peter's room.   Michael told us that the stuffed animals had "retired" from his room and that Peter could now have them for his room.  He also told Peter that he could rename the stuffed animals if he'd like.

Michael's done some pretty amazing thing so far when it comes to math and science, but I don't think I was ever as proud of Michael as I was on that night.

They make me proud and they make me happy.  I feel so blessed to be a father.  There's really nothing else like that "different kind of happiness".

Rich