Friday, July 31, 2015

Fuck that Guy



A few weeks ago, I started watching the episodes of "Mr. Robot" I had saved on my DVR ( great show, BTW - go see it now! ).  The protagonist in this show is a young man named Eliot, and early on in the first episode, we are introduced to his co-worker and childhood friend Angela.  You can tell right away that the two of them have a special ( albeit platonic ) relationship, and it's clear that it's only a matter of time become the two of them become a couple.  Just then, Angela's boyfriend shows up and kisses Angela on the cheek.  My first thought after seeing the boyfriend kiss Angela was "Fuck that guy! Angela and Eliot are meant for each other.  Fuck that guy!"

It wasn't long before we found out that Angela's boyfriend was a full-of-himself douchebag who was cheating on Angela.  Fuck that guy!  Really, fuck that guy!

That's when I realized that I had seen a lot of character's like Angela's boyfriend before.  Lot's of movies and TV shows have a "Fuck that guy", where a "Fuck that guy" ( FTG ) is defined as a character who matches all or most of the following criteria.

1) A FTG can only exist in a movie with a male protagonist.
2) The FTG should be the boyfriend/fiance of the primary love interest of the male protagonist.
3) When the audience and/or the protagonist is first introduced to the love interest, we should not be aware that the love interest is dating FTG.
4) FTG should be a jerk.  Ideally he should be cheating on the protagonist's love interest, and at the very least show show no respect for her ( or potentially him, if the male protagonist is gay.  However considering how few Hollywood movies have a gay protagonist, I couldn't think of any gay examples of FTGs. ).

BTW, a movie could also have a "Fuck that Girl" ( FTGirl ).  However, a FTGirl could only exist in a movie with a female protagonist.  Considering how few movies pass the Bechdel test, movies and TV shows with female protagonists are few and far between.  In any case, a FTGirl would have to be the asshole girlfriend of the love interest of a female protagonist.  I wasn't able to come up with any FTGirls, so please send me any examples of FRGirls you might be are aware of ).

In any case, I decided to make a list of 10 FTGs ( in no particular order )  I've loved to hate over the years, along with a few honorable mention FTGs who don't quite make the cut as a FTG.

1) Bradely Cooper in "Wedding Crashers".

He might just be the perfect FTG.  I don't remember his character's name and I not even going to bother to look it up, because I just think of him a Bradley Cooper, the FTG.

2) Craig Kilborn in "Old School.".

Another guy who checks all the FTG boxes.  Once again, I could care less about the character's name.

3) Glenn from "The Wedding Singer".



In this case, I don't know and don't care what the actor's name is.  I just know he's a great FTG.

4) Darryl from "Coming to America".

Perhaps not the best example of a FTG, because there is no evidence of cheating here, but he was a jerk who took credit for Akeem's charitable contributions, and treated Lisa like a commodity he could buy from her father.

5) Pam's Fiance from "The Office".

We all knew that Jim and Pam were meant to be until that FTG of a fiance showed up.

6) Anthony Micheal Hall from "Edward Scissorhands".

Once again I don't remember the character's name and it doesn't really matter.  All I know is that Frankenstein Johhny Depp and Winona Ryder were meant to be together and that FTG Anthony Michael Hall was getting in the way.

7) Gideon from "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World".

C'mon, the guy did form a league of evil exes.

8) Tal from "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist".

Hey, you fuck with Michael Cera's love life, you get on this list.

9) John Cho in "Better Luck Tomorrow".

After he was the MILF guy and before he was Harold, John Cho played one of the most unique FTGs in the history of cinema.  I don't want to give any spoilers except to say that no other FTG has a story arc quite like John Cho's FTG.

10) Charles Grodin in "The Great Muppet Caper".

OK, he doesn't really check off any of the FTG boxes, but he does try to date Miss Piggy in this movie ( and tries to frame her for a crime ) and later claimed to have a tryst with Miss Piggy in real life.  Hey Grodin, Piggy is Kermit's girl!  Fuck that guy, Charles Grodin!  Fuck that guy!

Honorable mention

Billy Zane in "Titanic" : He was the hardest guy to leave off the top 10 list.  However, he's not really a FTG because the audience knows from the start of the movie that he and Rose are a couple.

Billy Zabka in "The Karate Kid" : I could have named Billy Zabka from a bunch of 80's movies.  He's not really a FTG in "The Karate Kid" because he's an ex-boyfriend rather than a boyfriend, but I'm going to give him some FTG points for trying to beat up Daniel-san for the entire movie.

Batman from "The Lego Movie" : He's not really a FTG because he's a hero and basically a good guy, but his first scene in the movie is very much a FTG moment.

Colton from "Harold and Kumer Escape from Guantanamo Bay" : He only misses out on FTG status beacause Kumar is  never ignorant of the fact that Vanessa is engaged to Colton.  It's also notable that he gets decked by the protagonist's best buddy at a wedding, just like the first FTG I mentioned in my top ten list.

Rich